Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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