Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
