Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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