??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You're earring is so big in my mouth
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
not ubering you a puppy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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