This is not my ceiling
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
