there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
