Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
