i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
