Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
