How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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