there's paper in my vomit.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
