Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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