i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
