I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
