I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
