can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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