how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
