Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
