I think im going to throw up on grandma
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
