on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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