Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
