bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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