First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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