Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
