I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
