i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
