you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
