I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
