sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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