everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
