What did we do last night that was yellow?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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