brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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