We won't sleep together?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
