apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
