just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
