my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
