That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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