it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
