1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
