Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
