Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
