I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
