I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You are the jesus of drinking
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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