Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
