Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
