The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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