so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
