i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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