can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize