We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
