So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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