My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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